FINALLY. . .

I know I've been horrible about keeping this updated, but there's been so much going on that it just exhausts and overwhelms me to keep it all updated, but I'll try.

First thing, Grady had his 4 month appointment this past Tuesday and he weighs 16 pounds and is 26 inches long - the doctor said he thinks he's going to be a tall football player. The doctor said he looked great, seemed very happy and healthy and was very proud that we're still breastfeeding. I asked him if he could tell if Grady was teething - he's been showing signs - fussiness, drooling, gnawing on everything in sight - and the doctor said that he felt a ridge on his bottom front gums. No teeth yet, but they're working on it! He's also been cleared to start eating baby food - I've tried twice and it's not going so well, as you can see. . .

He prefers this kind of meal!

Second, and very very important, our boy finally slept through the night!! We went to a "yard golf tournament" last Saturday and Grady charmed everyone and spent the night being passed from lap to lap - he was so good! Grady and I came home after I nursed him at 8 pm and I gave him a bath and read him some books and put him to sleep. Around 11:30 I got him out of bed and gave him his bottle with a little bit of rice cereal in it and he ate while sleeping and was back in bed asleep at midnight and he slept until 7:30 am!! I fed him at 7:30, played with him for a little while and then he fell back asleep. Since then he hasn't gone quite as long, but he's doing so much better!

Thank goodness Grady is sleeping better because his Mamma is about to head back to work tomorrow. I finally just decided that if things fell into place with me going back to work then I would do so, and if they didn't, then I would continue to stay home. I interviewed at 2 firms and the second firm really emphasized family first - this was one of the most important criteria to me because I don't want to miss my time with Grady and Andy because I'm working late. Everything about the firm sounded great - they gave me the choice between being a workers compensation paralegal or litigation paralegal (they do insurance defense)- I chose workers comp - they also offered me more money than I asked for - who does that!? The same day I decided to go to one of the daycares where we were on the waitlist just to check out the facilities and teachers, etc. When I walked in the Director told me that they had moved 3 babies out of the baby room and one baby left so they had an immediate opening if I was interested. I went to the baby room to check it out and there were 3 grandmother-like ladies sitting around on the floor and in rocking chairs playing with babies - all of the babies seemed happy and content. I've been back several times and have seen the same thing. So, it pretty much all fell together. It's kind of bittersweet - I'm excited and sad all at the same time. Hopefully I'll get a chance to stay home with him again once the economy straightens out and we aren't as nervous about money and jobs. I'm definitely looking forward to putting on my high heels again! : )

I know there are a million other things I've forgotten to update about, but here are some pictures to keep you all happy until next time!

UPDATE

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WHAT TO DO

I told Andy last week that I wanted to go back to work. I don't really want to go back to work. I have had a permanent stomach ache at the thought of leaving Grady with someone else, and the thought of not spending as much time as possible with him. I feel like we waited so long and went through so much to get pregnant and have a baby and now he's here and I just want to savor every moment. BUT as we all know the economy sucks, the real estate market really sucks and that really affects Andy's job - his job is NOT in jeopardy - he actually just got took over the Charleston market and everything north for his company (we're very proud and excited that he won't be traveling quite as much!) - but it all just makes me nervous. I feel like me going back to work for even just a year would make a huge difference in our finances for now and for the future. I think me going back to work until Grady is 18 months, or until a second baby comes along, would give me a better chance at being able to stay home with both children and would really help with paying off student loans, putting money in Grady's education fund and bulking up our savings account so that if anything does happen in this crappy economy, that we would be okay. I realize that I'm so lucky and blessed to even have the opportunity to choose what I should do, but I'm losing sleep over this decision. I've been praying about it and talking about it and thinking about it and basically being obsessed over it and I'm still struggling. I also realize that I probably shouldn't be going into this thinking that it's temporary, but just a year would make a huge difference. Obviously, if we can't find great childcare, I will continue to stay home. I keep trying to think about the schedule I will have and realize that I'll be getting less than 3 hours a day with Grady during the week and that breaks my heart. I have some interviews set up for next week, and I've been looking around for childcare, so please keep us in your prayers as we try to make the best decision for our family.

REMEMBERING

I'm sure that other Moms can relate to this, but one of my biggest fears is forgetting the way things feel. I know I have pictures and we can take videos, but I'm so afraid that I'm going to forget how it feels to hold Grady when he's this age, and how I feel when he smiles up at me in the middle nursing, or how I feel when I hear him giggle and grunt and growl and squeal. I don't ever want to forget all of these changes, the lack of sleep, the sneaking into his room at night just to look at him sleeping and just being a new mom flying by the seat of my pants. It's already going too fast and he's growing so quickly and I'm trying to take it all in the best I can and enjoy it, but I still have this fear of forgetting my feelings during this time.

BUSY BEES

It's been pretty busy around here lately! Last weekend I took Grady to Charlotte to visit Aunt Lou Lou, and our wonderful friend Elissa came with us. It wasn't quite the relaxing, fun weekend I had hoped for. Laurel was stressed because she was still in the process of moving and starting a new job (so proud of her!) and I was stressed because Grady and I didn't get much sleep Friday night. Thank goodness Elissa was there because after having a breakdown in the middle of Southpark Mall because my child was so tired that he couldn't stop crying, Elissa reminded me that this kind of thing happens to every mother and that I wasn't a horrible mother, etc., etc., etc. I felt like a horrible mother because I felt that I was being selfish for wanting to shop in a mall that is actually nice - usually Grady does so well when we're out and he goes right to sleep when he's tired, but he just couldn't get to sleep. It's been hard for me to figure out a balance between doing something that I want to do for myself and doing what I need to do for him. Anyway, Saturday night turned out to be much more restful, but I think I'm going to stay close to home for a little longer!

Andy had a boys weekend while we were gone - he played poker Friday night at our house and then went camping on an island (yuck!) on Saturday night with a group of guys from our church. Grady and I were ready to come home to Daddy and I think Andy was ready for us to get home.

Anyway, this weekend should be a nice relaxing weekend at home.

Here are some new pictures - I don't know how Andy and I made such an adorable baby! He's so vocal and he loves standing (with a little help from us for balance), he loves grunting and growling, and he loves licking his toes!

Daddy and Grady playing Wii - this is "Daddy Day Care" in our home.